The narratives we live in
Sometimes I feel like I'm in a case study. The military industrial complex is harassing me, specifically, because I are a skilled righter that had a breakdown in ROTC and this is where the funny comes in wherein I definitely gave the Army *something.*
I am a schizoaffective person who faked schizophrenia and they definitely do very funny things. Things that make me sound crazy, and I don't care about proving anything, but what's happened to me over my life of trauma and narcissistic abuse and manipulation to include a cult is that the narrative structures I work with are highly malleable, and since I am highly agreeable with low EQ and piss-poor judgment, I have let people walk all over me my whole life, and part of the "haha, it's genuinely funny" of what's happened is I learned how to stand up for myself in a nonviolent, peaceful manner.
Before my reality was really broken by unresolved trauma and drugs and no knowledge of mental health skills, I was ruled by logic, and kept myself in its cage. But Adam is only half of the edenic mind, as there is also our intuition, Eve. I have been manipulated in clever ways. It's not all Uncle Sam and big brother. I was homeless and a lotta people, to include undercover cops I know, have played with the Play-Doh of my reality to change how I've perceived things, and there are definitely things kept hidden from those who believe the news is real.
Because that is the "herd;" the primary culture the minds of the masses are moulded around. Most people never leave this state of mind, growing up to be normative or inline with state-approved operating systems, which is what culture is. And people that wind up farther off the beaten path are oft to find themselves suffering because of their divergence, or at least that's the way it looks from some angles. From others, it looks like the world is cruel trying to make you fit in the wrong spot in the puzzle, but really we must perceive beyond duality to rise about the trap of schizophrenia.
Duality is black n white thinking. It is totalism, as it is thinking in pure, binary states. Something is either X or it is nX, that is the pure, dualistic dichotomy. But obviously, the world is complex. We must foster the ability to think in superpositions to be able to foster the depth perception to see what is trapping us in our suffering, for being divergent from the pack is not inherently bad. Rather, it is the ignorance of knowing how to swim that makes the schizophrenic drown in the same waters as a shaman.
This is "God" has taught me, whatever that strange thing in my life that was always there, sorta. It was my *narrative structures* that were allowed to be moulded by more than logic which unfettered me from what was making me suffer. I am so grateful for the CIA brainwashing me! Or whomever. Whatever. I dunno. It was weird. LSD was involved, multiple times. Learned to juggle. Changed my life. Happy, though falling tf apart, just like my apartment. Everything is going to be alright. I am light. I delight the I. I see me. You are me! And as I go crazy, my seas are as calm as can be, as I learned I am the water and the boat.
I am a schizoaffective person who faked schizophrenia and they definitely do very funny things. Things that make me sound crazy, and I don't care about proving anything, but what's happened to me over my life of trauma and narcissistic abuse and manipulation to include a cult is that the narrative structures I work with are highly malleable, and since I am highly agreeable with low EQ and piss-poor judgment, I have let people walk all over me my whole life, and part of the "haha, it's genuinely funny" of what's happened is I learned how to stand up for myself in a nonviolent, peaceful manner.
Before my reality was really broken by unresolved trauma and drugs and no knowledge of mental health skills, I was ruled by logic, and kept myself in its cage. But Adam is only half of the edenic mind, as there is also our intuition, Eve. I have been manipulated in clever ways. It's not all Uncle Sam and big brother. I was homeless and a lotta people, to include undercover cops I know, have played with the Play-Doh of my reality to change how I've perceived things, and there are definitely things kept hidden from those who believe the news is real.
Because that is the "herd;" the primary culture the minds of the masses are moulded around. Most people never leave this state of mind, growing up to be normative or inline with state-approved operating systems, which is what culture is. And people that wind up farther off the beaten path are oft to find themselves suffering because of their divergence, or at least that's the way it looks from some angles. From others, it looks like the world is cruel trying to make you fit in the wrong spot in the puzzle, but really we must perceive beyond duality to rise about the trap of schizophrenia.
Duality is black n white thinking. It is totalism, as it is thinking in pure, binary states. Something is either X or it is nX, that is the pure, dualistic dichotomy. But obviously, the world is complex. We must foster the ability to think in superpositions to be able to foster the depth perception to see what is trapping us in our suffering, for being divergent from the pack is not inherently bad. Rather, it is the ignorance of knowing how to swim that makes the schizophrenic drown in the same waters as a shaman.
This is "God" has taught me, whatever that strange thing in my life that was always there, sorta. It was my *narrative structures* that were allowed to be moulded by more than logic which unfettered me from what was making me suffer. I am so grateful for the CIA brainwashing me! Or whomever. Whatever. I dunno. It was weird. LSD was involved, multiple times. Learned to juggle. Changed my life. Happy, though falling tf apart, just like my apartment. Everything is going to be alright. I am light. I delight the I. I see me. You are me! And as I go crazy, my seas are as calm as can be, as I learned I am the water and the boat.