27M. How do you guys figure out what you want from your lives? Stuck atm.
[Original Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1t4j5je/27m_how_do_you_guys_figure_out_what_you_want_from/)
Im gonna try and keep this short and sweet. It needs to come out somewhere so it’s going here.
-Have a psych degree, been working at various dealerships since graduating. Currently at a dealership for the summer to regroup and save some money, was possibly thinking of moving into HR for something semi remote with some more freedom. Currently putting in 42-3 hours a week with sitting in over an hour of traffic going to and coming home from work.
-Moved away from home for a girl 300 miles away in the mountains. She cheated.
-I enjoy motorcycles and mountain biking. Really enjoyed living there, however I had little friends.
-Broke up with said girl, and am now dating a girl I dated prior to her. Love her very much.
-Moved back home to be with her and both her family and mine. I don’t get to see my folks as much as I like, as I live with her parents. My parents were kinda harsh on me growing up but realized that a few years ago and have been pretty cool since. I know my mom wants grandkids but I never thought I (the youngest) be the sibling to be contemplating it first.
-I was under the assumption that we’d try and get out of NY in the next year or two. Her brother is special needs and requires 24/7 care, she cannot move away from him.
-There’s not much to do here that I find enjoyable. I’m trying, but it’s difficult.
Been here for a month and feeling like I want to blow my brains out. Feeling guilty that I can’t keep up with the lifestyle that people live here and I will never be “enough” financially or emotionally for my own family or hers. I sat down with my therapist, and it didn’t get me really anywhere other than I put more grief on myself than need be most days, which I’m working on.
I’m very anxious on a daily basis, because I just don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have a routine like I did when I was alone, and now I take her lead most of the time, but still do enjoy some time to myself. I do love her, but I’m just unsure if we want the same things from life. She wants to settle in the next 5 years or so. Talking married, kids, house, all that; but save and live with her parents for the time being. I’ve been unsure my whole life if that’s what I want, and I’ve been trying to come up with a decision for the last few months. I really don’t want to hurt her feelings. We do get along exceptionally well, I just feel like we differ on fundamental things sometimes.
One example:
-I see myself at peace with a fat piece of land with room to ride, and some sandbags down range. not in a touristy or congested area, maybe just some close friends. I always wanted a hub where my family can congregate and enjoy these things. Not think about children until set and ready, and if it’s not possible biologically I’d adopt. Even thought of getting a vasectomy for the time being.
-She sees a seasonal rental property in her parents backyard and another property in Florida, going back and forth.
TLDR: After realizing my frontal lobe has developed, i still see that I have the brain of an 8 year old. However I don’t know if my decision making is quite there. I Am Dating a girl I never thought I would have a chance to be with when I was younger, and now contemplating that it might not be what I want for myself. Not entirely sure what I want to do with myself. At this rate and my rap sheet of messing up good things, I’m gonna be alone in a van down by a river.
Thanks for letting me dump my brain.
submitted by
/u/GaBaGOOL77446
Originally posted by u/GaBaGOOL77446 on r/AskMen
Im gonna try and keep this short and sweet. It needs to come out somewhere so it’s going here.
-Have a psych degree, been working at various dealerships since graduating. Currently at a dealership for the summer to regroup and save some money, was possibly thinking of moving into HR for something semi remote with some more freedom. Currently putting in 42-3 hours a week with sitting in over an hour of traffic going to and coming home from work.
-Moved away from home for a girl 300 miles away in the mountains. She cheated.
-I enjoy motorcycles and mountain biking. Really enjoyed living there, however I had little friends.
-Broke up with said girl, and am now dating a girl I dated prior to her. Love her very much.
-Moved back home to be with her and both her family and mine. I don’t get to see my folks as much as I like, as I live with her parents. My parents were kinda harsh on me growing up but realized that a few years ago and have been pretty cool since. I know my mom wants grandkids but I never thought I (the youngest) be the sibling to be contemplating it first.
-I was under the assumption that we’d try and get out of NY in the next year or two. Her brother is special needs and requires 24/7 care, she cannot move away from him.
-There’s not much to do here that I find enjoyable. I’m trying, but it’s difficult.
Been here for a month and feeling like I want to blow my brains out. Feeling guilty that I can’t keep up with the lifestyle that people live here and I will never be “enough” financially or emotionally for my own family or hers. I sat down with my therapist, and it didn’t get me really anywhere other than I put more grief on myself than need be most days, which I’m working on.
I’m very anxious on a daily basis, because I just don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have a routine like I did when I was alone, and now I take her lead most of the time, but still do enjoy some time to myself. I do love her, but I’m just unsure if we want the same things from life. She wants to settle in the next 5 years or so. Talking married, kids, house, all that; but save and live with her parents for the time being. I’ve been unsure my whole life if that’s what I want, and I’ve been trying to come up with a decision for the last few months. I really don’t want to hurt her feelings. We do get along exceptionally well, I just feel like we differ on fundamental things sometimes.
One example:
-I see myself at peace with a fat piece of land with room to ride, and some sandbags down range. not in a touristy or congested area, maybe just some close friends. I always wanted a hub where my family can congregate and enjoy these things. Not think about children until set and ready, and if it’s not possible biologically I’d adopt. Even thought of getting a vasectomy for the time being.
-She sees a seasonal rental property in her parents backyard and another property in Florida, going back and forth.
TLDR: After realizing my frontal lobe has developed, i still see that I have the brain of an 8 year old. However I don’t know if my decision making is quite there. I Am Dating a girl I never thought I would have a chance to be with when I was younger, and now contemplating that it might not be what I want for myself. Not entirely sure what I want to do with myself. At this rate and my rap sheet of messing up good things, I’m gonna be alone in a van down by a river.
Thanks for letting me dump my brain.
submitted by
/u/GaBaGOOL77446
Originally posted by u/GaBaGOOL77446 on r/AskMen